I'm sorry this one sucks. It has been a loooooooong couple days. My car broke today, I didn't eat anything until around 9am so I'm all jittery, I just paid some dude $300 for roughly £170, people are dying and getting sick and all sorts of stuff (IRL, I'm not talking about the recent barrage of celebrity deaths), I'm freaking OUT about this flight tomorrow and like, not crashing and making it through customs and my baggage not getting lost for forever and not being sick when I get there because my body is so effing fickle. OMG I JUST WANT IT ALL TO BE OVERRRRR!

I got my hair dyed today, to my natural color, and as you can see it makes my face look super pale. They have sun in England, right? I've heard it's quite elusive there so we'll see if I manage to come back any darker. What kind of vacation is it if you don't get a tan??

Oh yeah, and I just tried putting my glasses on and one of the lenses popped out. I didn't know they were held in with fishing wire when you have half-framed lenses. So now I get to do all that flight reading without them! Sure glad I got a lot of Excedrin.

Anyway, here ya go:


See you all in England!

I was reading a bit back in my journal yesterday. I absolutely love this and this.

We've been camming in enormous amounts lately. I didn't make the cut-off to change my cell phone plan before this new month started, so I'm going to do that for the next one. We only used around 600 of my minutes last month, and I think almost all of those were before I got this laptop, so we'll easily be able to survive on 450 again. I doubt if we'll even go through that many.

God, I want to kiss him so badly!! His face pops up on my screen and I have to fight this weird urge to lean forward and plant one on him. For a couple microseconds, I forget that we're so far apart. Probably the best couple microseconds of my days anymore.

Awwww :) Kiss pls!!

I worked on my birdhouse this weekend. It's coming along nicely. Except for the gold paint, which I only just realized takes 24-48 hours to dry. So I did the accents on one side and will do the rest either tomorrow evening or the day after. It's gonna be cute! Steve kept making me show it to him on cam so when it came time to peel off the tape from doing the stripes, I put the laptop on the table and he got to watch, haha. We're such dorks.

The whole painting and taping thing is surprisingly relaxing. And what was nice is that the width of the tape was the same width as my medium brush, so measuring the stripes was soooo easy! I saw tons of stuff at Hobby Lobby that would be super cute, so maybe I might do a couple more sometime!

I'm kind of in the mood for some Chinese. Or really chunky applesauce.

GREAT NEWS!!! Cindy, the queen of substitute holidays, was able to figure out how to get me a few extra days for England! So here's the official plan:

- Friday, July 3rd: off due to substituting July 4th
- Monday the 6th through Friday the 10th: 40 hours of PTO
- Monday the 13th: off due to substituting Labor Day
- Tuesday and Wednesday the 14th and 15th: off due to substituting Thanksgiving (considered a two-day holiday by the University, so I always have Thanksgiving Thursday and the following Friday off)
- Thursday the 16th: off due to trading with myself

I will fly out on Friday the 3rd, early, so that I arrive near or after Steve gets off of work, that way he's already in the city. I will then fly back here late on the 15th, arriving early on the 16th, then will work the 17th (a Friday) and the 18th (a Saturday) due to the trade with myself on the 16th.

That means I'll have used up all my substitute holidays (you can only do three a fiscal year), which doesn't bother me because I never used them before now anyway. And that also means I'll be scheduled to work Labor Day in September and the two-day Thanksgiving in November, but by then I will have accrued plenty more PTO and could take them off if I really wanted to. I'll probably work Labor Day regardless, as I found out on Easter that holidays are pretty much like weekends so I get a lot of my own work done and and catch up on things. I could always take a three-day weekend some other time. I might even work Thanksgiving, as we don't even have dinner until around 3pm, so I'll be home by then. That way I won't use up any PTO and will have plenty to work with when Steve and I figure out what we're doing after July.

Yayayayayayayayayay!

So. The plan for tonight is to sit down and budget the next couple months out so I know what I'm working with, find my last couple packs of Polaroid film because I took a different route home today and saw a few things I'd like to photograph, and get to bed suuuuuuuuuuuuper early because I'm absolutely shattered and need to get up around midnight, when Dad gets home, so he can work on this kink in my neck that still hasn't gone away, or let up even in the slightest.

OMG. ~7 weeks until I do the one and only thing I've wanted ever since I was little.

Oh yeah, and I get to see Steve ;) Love you hunnybunches :)

Today has been super great. Not only have I fallen off the eating-pretty-ok wagon but I also fell off the if-you-buy-this-you're-not-going-to-England-in-July wagon. It was only $20 and technically I want it for when I'm over there, but I know I'm going to cave and wear it before then. Fucking Express and their sales! I love how I can justify everything for myself when I really want to.

Oh, and let's not forget this amazing kink I have in my neck from laying in bed all day yesterday watching Netflix. I literally cannot look to my right, it is that painful. Which is really not convenient when YOU'RE TRYING TO DRIVE. On top of that, my bottom right wisdom tooth is funky again, puffing up the gums over it, so pretty much that side of my head/neck is just absolutely killing me. One of the two issues is giving me an earache (the tooth, I'm guessing) and the other has spread up into my head so I've had this dull, constant headache all day. And his name was SUPERVISOR.

Oh, and I went to put windshield washer fluid in my car and pushed the button to use it, but it wasn't spraying on my windshield. So I kept pushing the button. Nothing. So I held the button down for awhile. Nothing. I finally got out of my car to see a giant puddle on the ground. I don't know where it's coming from. It's not leaking from the reservoir thing you put it in, but it's coming out somewhere when I push the button to use it (checked the little hose and that's completely fine). It's going to have to fucking wait until after July. Really the only time I use the fluid is in the winter when people splash up on you but not enough wet stuff to like, use to wipe the windshield off with just your blades. So I'm sure it'll be fine for a couple months. Maybe I'll stick a spray bottle of the stuff in the trunk in case I encounter a semi-wet day and need a little.

Ok, let's talk about some good stuff!

Tomorrow I'm putting in my holiday request. I think I'll be using a couple "substitute holidays." It's really complicated to explain but the University has certain holidays it recognizes. Being in an admin. position, mine are completely flexible compared to most in healthcare positions, and because the 4th of July falls on a weekend this year, I can substitute it without having to work it. So I'm going to substitute it on the 3rd (Friday), and I'll fly out sometime that day, arriving in the evening. I'll then be using 40 hours of PTO the 6th - 10th, fly back on the 11th, and substitute Labor Day on the 13th just in case. If I'm feeling fine and everything, I'll just show up to work like I normally would and then won't have to worry about working on Labor Day because I didn't use the substitute holiday. That way if I'm not feeling ok and up to going in so soon, I won't have to call in, which would count against me.

Hopefully I'll be booking the flight this weekend, as well. I didn't sit down and budget yesterday, so we'll see. This check on Friday goes to my two big bills, but I think I'll have enough left over to book and have enough in my account to keep me comfortable.

I might have the house to myself this weekend! If Dad can rearrange his schedule, him and my mom want to go up to Cadillac for the weekend. Samantha said she didn't want to go (an old couple at church want her to plant flowers for them and she wants to do that this weekend), but will probably stay at Jackie's. That'll be soooo nice. I thought I was going to have to wait until they go camping in late July to have some alone time!

Steve and I have been looking at this "London pass" that lets you into tons of popular things around the city for free! We're going to have to sit down and plan on what all we want to do. He said something about doing the 3-day pass but I don't know how we're going to fit everything in! There's so much to do! It's going to be so exhausting. I really wish I had more time to work with. Guess we'll just have to prioritize it and what we don't get done we don't get done.

I was kind of in an unhappy mood yesterday when Steve and I got on Skype. He convinced me to read to him. He said something like, "You're not going to read to me in that tone, are you?"

"*laughs* You're an ass."

"You're a miserable git!"

lol.

It was fun. I like reading to him. I read him all of the good parts in my book, up until where I had stopped previously (chapter 5). There are a lot of good parts.

It reminded me of when I was at Bill's for a weekend and picked up The Dogs Who Found Me by Ken Foster. My all-time FAVORITE book. The entire thing is great! And all I wanted to do was read bits and pieces of it to him. You know, share something I really enjoy with someone I love. And he couldn't have cared less. He couldn't even be fussed to humor me for a little bit. But Steve wanted me to read it to him (actually, it was a toss up between this great book I'm enjoying or my London and Suburbs book, both obviously meaningful to me). He laughed at the funny parts. Giggled at the way I said certain town names. Explained things to me I didn't quite understand. Sent me links to things mentioned so I could see what they were. It was nice.

Aaaaaaaanyway. Here are some photos. ( Click. )

Got a new laptop! Details tomorrow... have a super headache atm and am about to head downstairs for a kickass head rub from mi padre.


We are so cute it's not even funny. ( Click. )

I looooooove this thing. Being able to see him all the time is so nice :) ♥ ♥

Hey guess what! I've decided to go semi-FO! Idk why but I keep having this hankerin' for something on Blogspot, and then I'm like why? You have an LJ, which is much better! Besides, there's really only one reason I went 100% FO and I no longer have to worry about that (not gonna say in an unlocked entry), so why not?

Anyway, I have nothing else to update about. I really want to take some photos. What should I photograph? I need some suggestions! What do you want to see? Send me on an adventure! It'll give me something to do this weekend :) Suggest as many as you want! Be creative! None of me though, please lol. Here's two of my new hair. That should be enough.

Needing a little time to myself, with no real errands to run, I decided to head down the rural stretch of US12 toward Coldwater. Destination: Allen, MI - "the antique capital of Michigan." Population: 225. Perfect for being by yourself.

US12 is a historical route that settlers traveled up from the south(and west) on, so there are a lot of big, beautiful homes along the way. In Jonesville, there are two I'm very fond of - one has gorgeous floor-to-ceiling arched windows, while the other still has the carriage stepping stone and hitching post out front. I love that. Both are brick with some sort of white accent on the front (a porch or short stoop), and are very stately without being overdone, like some of the more intricate Victorian homes. Both are currently being updated and renovated by their owners, so I enjoy making the occasional trip to Allen so I can check up on their progress, hoping one day I'll be able to do the same.

The almost-hour drive was very nice... my window rolled down, my iPod plugged into the radio, and very few vehicles on the road. I'm not even sure what exactly I was looking for. I just love browsing the sizable antique shops down there. I like to think about where these things have been and with whom. An intricately carved mirror stand that, perhaps, once sat on the dressing table of the beautiful and elegant wife of an affluent gentleman. A tattered old suitcase that has traveled to Sevilla and Moscow and everywhere in between, back when such travels were made by a fortunate few. A camera that has captured both the horrors of war and the indescribable happiness of life post-war, with a wife, children, and a home. I like to think that my King Regula I-Po from a soldier once stationed in Germany got to see such things. That all I have to do is look through the viewfinder to see what they saw.

A large majority of things you find in an antique shop don't have nearly as exciting a past as you'd like to think... and then there is an occasional, mysterious gem that reaffirms what you've always believed... that these places do hold treasures that can be bought with pocket change.

I don't normally browse the book areas, save for a quick glance or two for something with an old, beautiful binding to simply look nice on a shelf - not to be read. But as I was walking by a booth lined wall-to-wall and floor-to-ceiling with books, one not-so-unusual textless spine caught my eye. I stopped, placed my clutch underneath my arm, and slid the book off of the shelf with the other. "London and Suburbs," it said, nearly coming apart in my hands. $6 said the price tag hanging from somewhere inside the pages. An old, almost whimsical book about London for $6? I was sold. I didn't even bother to scan the pages - I wanted to wait until I got home and could have a good, hard look at it. An image of myself came to mind, sitting alone in my room, curled up in the comfy chair with the book on my lap and a drink on the desk next to me. It's raining outside. I have the lamp turned on, providing the room with an appropriate haze. I carefully pull back the crumbling book cover and am instantly transported to the places and times described on the pages.

There is no publishing date inside, but there is some sort of message written in the first blank page, dated 1908. After a little Googling, I've found that the book was published in 1895.

I'm excited to read it, but am waiting for the perfect time. Things like this can't just happen... it requires a certain atmosphere. No distractions or interruptions, a certain mood, and so forth.

I've been fortunate to find a few really good gems in my many antique shop adventures... even if I'm the only one left in the world that they matter to.

I loooooooove it when Steve tells me jokes. For the most part, we have the same humor (my dad and I seem to have inherited that dry, English humor). So usually his jokes are either really funny, or I don't understand them for one reason or another and we laugh at the complete silence on the phone after he says the punchline lol.

Like this one he tried tonight. He already told it to me awhile ago, but I don't think he explained it first.

Steve: A white horse walks into a pub, and the bartender says to him, "Hey, you know we have a drink named after you!" and the horse says, "What? Kevin?"
Me: *silence*
Steve: There's a drink called White Horse.
Me: OOOOOOOOOOOH!!!! *laughs hysterically both at the joke and not getting it the first time*

lol

Or he'll tell me a real quick one, and I'll just lay there and ask, "Is that the end of the joke?" Haha poor guy.

He told me this really good one today, though.

Steve: There was an English cat called "One Two Three" and a French cat called "Un Deux Trois" swimming across the English Channel. Which cat won?
Me: I dunno... which?
Steve: The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! ("quatre cinq" sounds like "cat sink")
Me: *silence* I don't get it.
Steve: Count to five in French.
Me: I can't get past four.
Steve: Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq.
Me: *gets it* OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *laughs hysterically* That would be such a great joke if I knew French!!!!

Haven't posted photos in awhile, or even links to them, really, so here ya go. They all open in new tabs.

› The ADIML from my birthday
› AA Orchid Fest photos
› Lily Allen concert photos (and April in general)
› The complete set from Steve's visit

Nothing to update about. Things are fine. I feel fine. Life is currently mundane and emotional rollercoaster-less.

Although I do have a couple crafty ideas that will hopefully keep me occupied for a few weeks, one of them being a chandelier. Several, several years ago (I think before I even started college in 2004) I got this modish chandelier from my parents for Christmas. Sort of retro-y and colorful... a prime example of how well they know me. I never used it. I saw it in the sunroom a few weeks ago and thought it would be really neat to take the colorful circles that are hanging from it off, and do something else with it. I love all the chic chandeliers that are so popular right now, so it'd be even cooler if I had one I made myself! And how easy would it be when it's already got the frame and electrical wiring all done for me?!

I couldn't decide what to use, though... some kind of jewel? Crystal? Then when we were at Downtown Home & Garden last Sunday, I saw this wind chime made with capiz shells, and it hit me! I'll definitely take photos of before and after, but this is roughly what I'm going for, except it will only have one row of shells. Unless I find some metal I can somehow stick in there to do some more, which is probably a little too advanced for my limited knowledge of metal and support systems lol. Hmm maybe more like this, except it will hang, and I think I'm only going to use shells of one size.

The other craft project is a birdhouse. We do tons of stuff at work to raise money for our patient charity fund. Every year my department raises the most money, and around Christmas we present checks of $1000 (how many we give out depends on how much we've raised) to X amount of patients and their families. This year, one of our new fundraisers is birdhouses. For $10 we can buy a plain one and do whatever we want with it, and they will be auctioned off eBay style on a website, and all the money raised goes into our patient charity fund. So I'm going to do one. I'm thinking of all these cute, shabby chic ideas so we'll see how that turns out. I have a hard time translating my ideas into reality soooo we'll see.

P.S. It's really hot here all of a sudden. It was below 60° all week, then the high was 84° on Friday and 82° yesterday. I definitely need to go shorts shopping.

Please tell me how this makes sense.

July 4th:
Detroit, MI → Boston, MA → Amsterdam, Netherlands → Tel Aviv, Israel

July 7th:
Tel Aviv, Israel → Paris, France → Philadelphia, PA → Detroit, MI

Meaning we'd fly to Tel Aviv separately and return to our respective homes immediately (to save more money for the big move).

Total: $1,327*

OR

July 4th:
Detroit, MI → Newark, NJ → Tel Aviv, Israel

July 7th:
Tel Aviv, Israel → London, UK

July 11th:
London, UK → Chicago, Il → Detroit, MI

Meaning we'd fly to Tel Aviv separately, return to England together, then I will return to Michigan after a few days.

Total: $1,608*


*cheapest fares on Orbitz, may vary slightly

"Are you guys from Canada?"
"No," I said, slightly confused.
"Then what's that language you're speaking?"
"Er... English."
"Oh. So you guys aren't from Canada? Where are you guys from? Canada?"
"We're from Ann Arbor. Where people speak English. Like we're all doing right now."



Lily Allen was just brilliant. God she is so fucking cute it's not even funny. Her hair is short now, though :( If I swung the other way, I'd totally be her #1 stalker. Being her must be super fun.

Natalie Portman's Shaved Head was neat-o too. The one dude has the skinniest legs I've ever seen on someone who isn't an infant. And they were only accentuated by his black, pin-striped pants.

It was at St. Andrew's so we stood up in the little balcony area. This old Irish couple, in their late 50s or so, were totally having a ball. The woman was singing along and stuff. It was cute. The guy kept trying to dance with me.

Ooo, and despite my love for large handbags, I found out tonight that it is possible to fit all my "essentials" in a wristlet/clutch. I packed the bare minimum of stuff, though. It's a little liberating not carrying around a huge bag full of "what if" buffers.

I have this memory. I really don't know where it took place, but it was after my grandma had died, so I'm guessing I was somewhere between the ages of 7 and 11. Very young, but still old enough to remember the really important stuff.

My mom and I were talking about my grandma, for whatever reason, and I remember her telling me that she (my grandma) loved me more than anything in the entire world, and that I will never understand that kind of love. That I will never quite understand just how much she loved me.

I do understand. I feel that love every time Steve looks at me. Every time he kisses my forehead. Every time he reaches for my hand.

I don't know how else to describe it other than to say that he makes me so excited to be alive. That silly cliche about when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible is so true. I can't even tell you how many times I woke up in the middle of the night this past week, frustrated that it was still night time, because all I wanted was the day to start so I could share it with him.

I am in absolute heaven. I can't believe how cute and funny and just great Steve is. From the second I saw him at baggage claim to our good-bye kiss at the hotel door this morning, life has been nothing short of absolutely wonderful. Even with me having to work yesterday and today.

I can't even describe how he makes me feel. With Bill, he'd stare at me and I would feel so uncomfortable, like he was staring directly at all of my flaws, thinking about how he wishes I didn't have this, I wasn't like that, that he was with someone who didn't have these "problems." There were parts of my body that, when he touched them, I would totally freak out. It was just total second nature... I didn't even realize that I was jumping away from him when he touched me a certain way until after I had already done it. Like if he just didn't touch me there, he would never realize that I'm fat, he wouldn't think about how he wanted to be with someone else instead. And after we spent time together, I would think about some of the things he said or we talked about and analyze them down to the very last grain, searching for some hidden meaning behind everything. Like what did he really mean by that? What is he really trying to say about us when he says that? What is he thinking about me when he sighs and shakes his head like that, and then tells me "nothing?" Why is he so angry and quiet all the time? Why does he walk several paces in front of me when we go places?

With Steve, things aren't like that AT ALL. I don't feel uncomfortable when he just stares at me, nor do I try to cover up, preventing him from seeing anything I'm unhappy with. I don't squirm away when he touches me anywhere... unless it tickles. We talk about stuff, and when we don't, our silences aren't uncomfortable. We make faces at each other. He winks at me. Sticks his tongue out at me. Wants to hold my hand or have his arm around me wherever we go. He kisses me no matter where we are or who's around. He stands outside in the freezing cold as I toss my purse in the backseat of my car, not opening up his door until I've opened mine and gotten in. He insists I try his food and show him my bedroom and just share my life with him in every possible way. He loved just riding around watching me point at things and listening to me say this is this, that is that (er... does that line make anyone else think of Flounder from Ariel?) about my life here. When I think back about things we've talked about or things he's said, it's because they were funny and silly or interesting and thought-provoking... not vague things only used to mask feelings he's not brave enough to expose.

And this is after only 1.5 days. One proper meal together. And most of that time has been spent sleeping or at work.

These five days off are going to be so bittersweet I almost can't stand it.

Steve was joking around about this old pair of boxers he was wearing. Something about having changed out of them and thrown them away because they made him look like he was homeless, and he couldn't let me see him in them.

"I had the same problem today," I said. "I was going to the bathroom at work and realized there were two huge holes in my underwear!"

"Erm... well that's where your legs go, love!"

:| He makes me laugh sooooo much.



Oh and just to clear things up, the leg holes are not the holes I was surprised to see lol. They're nylon-y undies and I think I just washed them with a bra, as even in a bag and on the gentle cycle, my bra clasps have a knack for putting holes in things.

Oh and how weird is this! My uncle Steve is flying to Phoenix tomorrow and set his status on Facebook to this:

Steven leaving..... on a jet plane.. don't know when i'll be back again... yes i do, thursday.

Then, just a little while later, my Steve, who doesn't know my uncle at all, had pretty much the same status:

Steve is leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again (although I think it'll probably be the following Wednesday)

:|

I had the weirdest dream yesterday morning. I hate how the only ones I ever remember are the weird/stupid/sad/scary ones. I'm sure I have plenty of pleasant ones now and again, right?

Anyway, I went downstairs and my mom was sitting at the dining room table. Just to, you know, kind of awknowledge her and not seem like a total bitch, I kind of half smiled, half made a face, where I kind of raised my eyebrows and bared my teeth. Sounds really stupid, I know. Anyway, she shoots me this look of disgust and says, "stop biting your teeth like that" which totally doesn't make any sense, so I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror only to see that there are gums where my teeth should be. The teeth seemed to be missing, but rather than just missing teeth and there being my regular gums, my gums seemed to extend further down than normal so they were actually where my teeth normally are.

Now if you know me at all, you know I'm a teeth freak. I would absolutely die if something were to happen to my teeth, especially one of the front ones, so I start to freak out. I ran my tongue across the gums and I could literally feel, in the dream, that raw feeling your exterior gums have after you've lost a tooth. It was just unbelievably real... and I haven't even felt that since I lost my last baby tooth.

THEN. I'm standing there looking in the mirror, kind of rubbing my tongue back and forth across my gums, still able to feel that raw feeling, when suddenly THERE'S MY TEETH! Behind the weird, extended gums are my regular teeth, and the gums and blood is being wiped away to reveal my normal mouth.

I know I say this all the time but I. AM. A FREAK. What could possibly be going on in my head at night that would cause me to have a dream like that? Jeez Louise.




I have stuff I want to say but I really don't feel like it. I want to do something, but I don't really feel like that, either. I'm sick of sitting around but I don't feel like getting up. I wish I could get out of this rut. It's driving me absolutely nuts.